Homemade Ketchup

We’ll start with great ease, for that is the key, a condiment that I know you can make,

We’ll start it simply, then add variety, intrigue your children, and make no mistake.

It’ll put a surprise, in front of their eyes, and tell them about one of those staples,

That sits in your fridge, or pantry shelf ridge, and can be sweetened with syrup from maples.

It traces its fame, at least in its name, to England in sixteen eighty-two,

The recipe though, for the type that you know, where cometh from hard to follow.

A vegetable red, a US Senator once said, since many eat it like a main dish!

It’s ketchup of course, wherever its source, for French fries a child’s first wish

It’s eaten each day, in the USA, sixty percent of it is eaten here,

With food that is fast, and some meals that last, 5 quarts, we each eat, every year.

If you are a fan, I do understand; I ate quite a bit in my youth.

These days I do see, it in recipes, in a variety of cuisines, it is used.

Surely you know, as your children grow, to make sure you never run out,

They’ll think it a crime, when it’s dinner time, “There’s none on the table” they’ll pout. 

Let’s now save the day, whether near or far away, when the red bottle is empty and dry,

It is easy to make, and it will taste great, you’ll just have to remember this rhyme.

Some tomatoes you’ll need; canned works well, indeed; crushed, sauce, paste, or whole are all fine,

It is sweet and sour, thus a sugar and vinegar, some water, spice, seasoning, and a little time.

As many of you know, I use a ratio, as a formula and guide to prepare,

For ketchup four parts, tomato product to start, two parts vinegar, and one-part sweetener

So let’s use a cup, of tomato product, the consistency of a thick sauce,

Just how you get there, no one really cares, in your pantry what you come across.

If a can of paste, none of it to waste, all six ounces and two ounces water,

Mix in half a cup, of a vinegar, yup, apple cider, works best, than any other.

Now add something sweet, sugar or honey, two ounces and mix until smooth,

You are almost done, just a little more fun, some salt and some spices, the next move.

Fine salt you’ll add soon, three-quarters teaspoon, and a little bit of garlic and onion powders,

Give one final mix, there are no more tricks; put it in a squeeze bottle, and be prouder!

Now if no paste had, it’s really not bad, just an extra step to get rid of some water,

If sauce you produce, you’ll need to reduce, it’s liquid by half – not a bother.

If the tomatoes are diced, are whole or are sliced, put them in a blender and whirl for a few,

Until they are smooth, then it is time to remove, then cook over low heat, you must do

The first time you try, you should really buy, a can of the paste so that you’ll know,

Just how thick it should be, for this recipe, all other types canned or freshly grown.

Now for some joy, you’ve got a new toy, a modern-day mother sauce you now have,

I’ll suggest a few, for variety, true, additions you can make to one-half.

The motive is because, remember what was, the reason we have made homemade,

It was for the kids, they’ll probably forbid, any new types they might be afraid.

If you like curry, you’ll find in Germany, Curry ketchup that is eaten on Döner,

To the basic recipe, add powder curry, a little Worcestershire sauce, and paprika.

Now if make you wanna, ketchup with banana, I won’t judge you for adding the yellow,

Puree some that are ripe, add some rum, any type, mix until it is smooth and mellow.

Just about any fruit, you can substitute, apples, berries, anything, you should dare,

Some use like gravy, so don’t go crazy, a reminder, save a half recipe to share. 

If hot is your thing, ketchup with a sting, just add something hot and spicy,

Your favorite hot sauce, cayenne, sriracha, for an added zing some whisky!

And if you’re in the mood, for grilled or barbequed, you might want to do a bit more,

Ketchup is a great base, for a few flavor mates, a great barbeque sauce is in store.

Make a double recipe, of plain ketchup, indeed, then gather a few other items,

Best heated slowly, for flavor to marry, thus, mix in a pot, until the sauce tightens.

Over low heat you’ll stir, slow creates more flavor, a double recipe with apple juice and cider vinegar,

A half cup of each, and three tablespoons parprik’, melt in one-half cup brown sugar, the darker.

A few flavorings more, fine, minced, or powder, onion, garlic, chilis, and liquid smoke,

As much as you like, or none if dislike, some add Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, or Coke!

When thick time to cool, there is really no rule, of how thick it should be when it’s done,

If it’s thinner than paint, thick enough it ain’t, it won’t coat your food – it will just run! 

At this poem comes to an end, some time I did spend, to put it all into a jingle,

I do like to sing; changing words is my thing; like ice cream, is better, when you add sprinkles!

The Ketchup Jingle – sung to the tune of This Old Man, or that purple dinosaur song, if you must.

One can of paste, none to waste, add two ounces of water,

Mix with one-fourth cup honey and half cup vinegar, a pinch of salt, garlic, onion powder.

If you need, some variety, you can make it with curry,

You can add some fruit and a little bit of rum, in a blender and smooth once spun.

Last but not least, for a feast, make some barbeque sauce – KC,

With some apple juice, cider vinegar and spice, and brown sugar, it’s so nice.

That’s just some, of what can be done; tomato paste can be such fun,

Add to pasta sauce, stews, soups, and yes, chili, everything will be yummy!